Intoxicated woman steals ferry, screaming “I’m Jack Sparrow, I’m a pirate.”

A woman high on drugs and alcohol stole a 45-foot double-decker passenger ferry screaming “I’m Jack Sparrow, I’m a Pirate.” According to reports on Thursday, Alison Whelan and her friend caused thousands of dollars in damages when they commandeered the vessel.

Whelan and her friend Tristam Locke admitted that they had been on a two-day drinking binge and had consumed the deadly hallucinogenic drug, nightshade, as reported by The Telegraph. Whelan made her escape by unmooring the boat, untying several thick ropes “connecting the boat to the shore because she kept tripping over them.”

The ferry started “drifting like a pinball machine.” The two drunk ‘pirates’ were out of control “heading toward dozens of other moored vessels.” Whelan damaged numerous boats, making for a very expensive night. However, no booty for the self-proclaimed pirate has been reported as yet.

Whelan was heard taunting police and shouting “What are you going to do now? I believe this is out of your jurisdiction.” The two incorrigible hijackers were finally apprehended when the ferry came to rest about a mile upstream in still waters.

Whelan is a “chronic alcoholic who is awaiting a liver transplant.” She pleaded guilty to “aggravated vehicle taking and was jailed for 122 days.” When arrested she declared that she “would have ended up in St Tropez” if she hadn’t been captured.

Stoned mom arrested after driving with 5 month old baby on roof


The following is a break down of some seriously bad parenting at the hands of 19-year-old teen mom Catalina Clouser from Phoenix, Arizona.

On Friday night Clouser and her boyfriend had been smoking a little weed at a public park. After this they decided to head to a store and buy some beer with Catalina’s baby in the car. Hey boyfriend was pulled over and popped for DUI. Being upset over that whole situation, Clouser decided to take herself and her child to a friend’s house where she, “admittedly smoked one or two additional bowls of marijuana.”

After getting stoned Clouser thought it would be a good idea to head on home with her infant son asleep in the car seat. It wasn’t until she got home that she became aware that her son was missing. According to Phoenix Police officer James Holmes:

“It appears the suspect put the baby on the roof of the car and drove off, forgetting he was still on the roof.”

Freaked out, Clouser started dialing up friends frantically attempting to retrace her steps trying to figure out the location of her son. Once she pieced together what had happened officers were already on the scene. Holmes added:

“The officers did find that the car seat was damaged. There were scrapes on the car seat, obviously from a fall. We’re thinking that based on her possible impairment, she just didn’t realize that she had placed that baby at one o’clock in the morning on top of the car when she took off.”

Both Holmes and local station KTVK have reported that the 5-week-old infant is, “perfectly OK,” and that he has been placed in the care of Arizona Child Protective Services.

Catalina Clouser was arrested and has been charged with aggravated DUI and child abuse.

Iowa Man Arrested for Drunk Driving With a Parrot and Zebra


An Iowa man arrested for drunk driving after he left a bar appears to have his “kids” to blame — a baby zebra and parrot that were with him and his girlfriend.

Jerald Reiter, 55, was charged with operating while under the influence and spent the night in jail before being released Monday.

He told that he suspects the only reason police were at the bar in Dubuque was that someone among the crowd taking pictures of the zebra and parrot contacted authorities.

“He was standing outside of his vehicle,” Reiter’s girlfriend, Vickey Teeters, told “He was getting ready to switch drivers.”

“These are our kids,” Teeters added, in explaining why the animals were with them. 

The couple said they often take the animals with them, and had planned to bring them into the bar but were told they could not enter because food was being served that night.

Reiter, from nearby Cascade, was arrested after he, Teeters, the zebra and the parrot returned to his truck.

Police said Reiter had actually started driving away from the bar’s parking lot, but he insists he had not yet moved the vehicle. Under Iowa law, he can be charged with drunkenness for simply being behind the wheel, reported.

Thanks to Mr. S.W. for bringing this to the attention of the It’s Interesting community.